DAY 40 - MEALS & EXTREME WILLPOWER

Well today is Eurovison - so the annual get together with friends to take the piss / avoid and play games in the kitchen. Unfortunately there was a grand table spread with every single type of lovely food that I would kill to eat and couldn't have. I actually found this an even greater struggle than my birthday surrounded by friends eating dominos pizza... I was getting quite emotional and even angry - asking myself what the hell am I doing and is putting myself through this really making any difference. My head was telling me I'm still fat, still not strong enough and became quite a storm. I also felt quite isolated from not being able to join in any of the food or drink or try things people had cooked which looked so nice. It was quite a dark evening internally :/

MEAL 1 - Eggs x 3 with smoked basa and coconut oil, tommy bobblehat

MEAL 2 - Turkey sausages (gf / 130g) with tomato, avocado, watercress and baby kale salad

MEAL 3 - Eggs x 3 with smoked basa, garam masala spices and coconut oil, tommy bobblehat

MEAL 4 - Beef burgers with onion and tommy bobbles, salad, peppers, cucumber
*absolutely NOT my plate (last spare plate at Eurovision party)